"How long, O Lord..." ...
"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." ...
"I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint." ...
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."
- Habakkuk 1:2, 1:5, 2:1, 2:3
I just love this back and forth between Habakkuk and God...it's honest and direct. It shows doubt that is followed by deeper trust, questioning for clarity that leads to deeper trust, and intentionality in expecting an answer from God. And, it ultimately reminds us that God's timing is perfect...even if we may lack the patience and vision to gracefully wait and see 'it' (whatever it may be) come to fruition.
I really liked the point made in First 5 yesterday with focus on Habakkuk 2:
"Sometimes we may want an explanation, but God may give us a revelation instead.
And when God shows us more of Himself, our view of Him expands, and when our view of Him expands, our understanding of His nature grows as well. God's answer to our prayers and our pleadings may not always be the answer we were hoping for, but we can always trust that God is still moving and working out His will."
After all, "Why?" is an easy question to ask...talk to any 2-3 year old for long and their curiosity of how things work will prove that point. As we get older, the depth of that question grows and takes on a whole new meaning and complexity that does indeed merit an indefinite time of waiting (likely impatiently). As we seek those answers, sometimes we're called to a season of rest.
"But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." - Habakkuk 2:20
"I stand in awe of your deed, O Lord." - Habakkuk 3:2
I have found myself here in this season of rest for the beginning part of 2018. If I'm being honest, I knew I was to be in such a season after I completed my doctoral program; yet, I jumped right in to additional responsibilities for the Fall semester. So, as some symptoms of burnout were bubbling up toward the end of 2017, it was crystal clear that 2018 needed to start with more 'nos' than 'yeses' and making an intentional effort to be still and rest for a season. In the past 3 months, I've gained a few key insights...
1. In rest, I have time to rediscover purpose. I had been so caught up in the laundry list of things that needed to be completed on a day to day basis that I forgot just how much I enjoy creative approaches to things. When things are so busy, I easily fall into the comparison game and trap of 'imposter syndrome'. This season of rest has spurred my creativity rand renewed my confidence to execute some long overdue projects this summer. (Cue the nerdy excitement!)
2. In rest...I can refocus on my relationships. Whether it's old, new, or relatively longstanding relationships, intentionally reaching out to others is key. This Spring has been a refreshing time of reflection about the various lessons I have learned through others the Lord places in my life, the role I have to play in others' lives as an encourager, and the intent it takes to build or maintain such relationships.
3. In rest, my Spirit is refilled. When life is moving at a rapid pace, it's easy to focus on the logistics of how to accomplish everything and seeking for clarity. Yet, He desires us to seek Him not so much for clarity, but rather learning to know Him and trust Him more. He is the sole restorer of the soul.
Day by day, the waiting continues for the myriad of 'why' questions I have murmured along this journey. But, even in the waiting, we are called to serve with those many gifts he has given to each of us. So...Seek. Serve. Repeat. is the current mantra with great anticipation for what will be. Though I see this season of rest coming to a close, I am grateful for this odd but now welcomed period of time.
"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength;...he enables me to go on the heights." - Habakkuk 3:18-19
