A Work in Progress

The very first day I opened my new devotional (Made to Crave), I was hit with two words: unsettle me. These two simple words have, over the past 32 days conjured up many thoughts and questions. A few moments of pondering have been on 'What am I settling for?', 'How am I settled into my life?', and 'How would my life be different if I were less settled and more trusting in my Savior?'.  When a thought would come, I would end up making a mental note and jotting it down later on a sticky note, random scrap of paper, or on the bulletin. This past week, I sat down one night to try to put those thoughts together. What I came to was that this will have to be a poem in progress. Each time I come back to thinking about these two little words, God teaches me something different, something new. It is typically something little, but is that not how He works at times...little realizations that compound over time to see how He orchestrates our life? OK, enough of my ramblings...here is my poem, a work in progress, written with a curious heart as to what He will teach me next through these simple, yet powerful words:

Unsettle Me

by Natalie Coers

Settled in my routine of day to day living;
My heart can grow distant, yet grace You keep giving.

Unsettle me from this quiet life as You lead me to be bold;
Following in obedience for Your story to be told.

Unsettle me from my comfortable, yet distracting expectations;
Lord, to see the faithful, abundant life You have called us to for generations.  

Unsettle me from thinking I have it all together with a plan;
Help me trust in Your way, even when I don’t understand.

Unsettle me from behind these walls, a veil from Satan’s ploy;
To not just live for You, but in You with my all and filled with joy.

Unsettle me from this protective shell;
Enable me to be courageous and real, just as Your Word compels.

Unsettle me from this judgmental place;
Give me Your eyes to see with love and grace.

Overwhelmed by a world that needs Your everlasting love;
Unsettle me, Lord; bring me into my purpose from above. 

I'm sure as I continue this journey new chapters of life will bring different aspects and opportunities to settle. Thus, this is a work in progress, just as I am...constantly being taught and molded to be more like my Savior. So many times I choose to settle...it's comfortable after all; but, these two little words will forever bring me a piece of humble pie and remind me of His desire to draw me closer and closer to Him.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

"Whooah, we're half way there"...

... "Livin on a prayer"...

So, ever since I saw the "gas pump news" with the awesome karaoke to Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer" that song has randomly popped into my head. although beside the point of this post, it seemed like a fitting title. Just a quick update on my Challenge 3.60, as I indeed just crossed over the 30 day mark int he devotional. So, how is it going? Well, for the most part it has been good. A quick run down of the first 4 weeks...
Week 1 (extra time for new devo and tracking food): this week was intentionally pretty easy to transition in and it was toward the end of the semester (i.e. crazy busy!). And, with the exception of a couple of weekend days, I have kept up the reading and tracking pretty well. Probably the devo day with the most impact for this week (and really, thus far), was the very first day that described a simple, yet powerful prayer to "unsettle me" (a post on this is in the works).
Week 2 (no sweets): Not a problem. Day 10 was the most memorable devo this week; it focused on breaking down "cravings" into three categories: physical, material, and significance.
Week 3 (bye to bread): This week had to be put on the back burner, as I was sick and simple cards were about all my stomach could handle. Day 16: A great reminder that we each have our own struggles. Romans 8:28
Week 4 (no TV/web episodes): I did watch one finale show, but otherwise was pretty good about grabbing a book during lunchtime. With the start of the summer semester, it helps that I have some "have to" reading each week, but I am lucky that it is from texts that were on my reading list anyways (bonus!). So, this has been a nice lunch break week with reading (and actually going outside to read). Day 21: "I can't control my circumstances, but I can control my choices."

I am in the midst of Week 5 (Facebook)...yeah, I have not done so well with this one...I've tried cutting back on it, but am not close tot hat 5 minutes yet. However, I did pick up Week 3's challenge and am currently on Day 3 of Paleo eating (only eating meat, veggies, a little fruit, and nuts). It is definitely a drastic switch up to the carb/fat/protein balance that I typically eat. But, I have heard it does great things for your skin (which I have always had some issues), and is an overall good "restart" for re-introducing a healthy balance/portion size and shocking the system out of constant sugar/carb cravings (aka my two go-to cravings). A good bit of planning for meals (and using lots of tupperware containers from one mega prep day for a week of meals), but overall good thus far. I committed to two full weeks, and will then reassess as to if I'll go for the entire 30 day recommendation. Thus far this week...Day 31 has been the kicker for me: "Victory isn't a place we arrive at and then relax. Victory is when we pick something healthy over something not beneficial to us - again and again."

So, bottom line is that this devo is proving to be quite fabulous and the challenge is moving right a long with a hiccup here and there :).

Other noteworthy points from the devo thus far:
From Day 6: God is incredibly patient...we are always only one good choice to being back on the path of perseverance in His work.
From Day 9: "When you take the "com" off of compromise, you are left with "promise"...so do not compromise your intention to stay true to God's promise and work He is doing in your life.
Day 13: Honest assessment of how we are doing spiritually, mentally, and physically is essential to growth.
Day 19: If I want to grow closer to God, I have to distance myself from distractions (an intentional effort).
Day 23: "Temptation is an invitation to meet my needs outside the will of God."
Day 27: "Victories are achieved one choice at a time."  

Feeling like Jericho...

 "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."
John 15:4 (NIV)


I follow a couple of blogs of folks that I have been directed to through various sources, be it a conference speaker or reference from a food blog that I would visit every once in a while. For this particular blog, sharpenher.com, I subscribe via the email option so new posts come to my inbox. Most of the time, I'll take a quick glance through the email and then continue on to the next; for whatever reason the other day, he title caught my attention and I read the whole email (post). She was talking about the three greatest threats to her Christian faith: exchanging actions for true relationship, thinking I'm good enough, and putting on the Christian mask of having it all together. As I read her post, I started to think about what are the greatest threats to my Christian faith? What is keeping me from being more fruitful? What are my greatest distractions?

Well, these are not easy questions to resolve....perhaps easy to answer or identify the cause; however, making changes to behaviors surrounding the cause(s) is another story. Here's what I came up with for my top three threats:
1. Squeeze out a smile and life is good. This mantra of appearing to have it all together is one that I have struggled with my entire life. For whatever reason, I have always felt the need to be the 'strong' one in a group and keep my own feelings subdued. I saw so many people who appeared to have it all together, so I thought that's what a Christian is supposed to do. Over the past five or so years, though, I have realized more and more the incredible value of having a few close friends that you can be completely transparent and vulnerable with. It take me quite a while to get to that point with a friend, but even more recently I have realized just how much my spiritual growth has been stunted by not having that vulnerability outlet.
2. Settled in to serve. As a Type A person, I easily settle in to a routine. Over time, that area of service can become so ingrained that we lose sight of why we serve in that capacity. Or, as we are using our gifting, we can become burnt out from consistently serving in the same way (because we're good at that and asked to continue in it). I think it's important to remember to take a short break or try a new adventure to keep our service fresh and focused on God. Unsettle me, Lord...
3. Comparison and minimizing my sin. In our society, it's so easy to get into the comparison game...'well, at least my sin is not as bad as that... But, sin is sin and fully realizing that Christ endured my sin on the cross helps to put into perspective the depth of gratitude I owe my Savior.

So, where does Jericho come into the picture? Faith and patience are the two things that come to mind when I think about the story of Joshua and the city of Jericho. Although the full story is in the book of Joshua, I enjoy the reference back to it from Hebrews 11:30: "By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days." With this train of thought regarding threats to my Christian faith, the story of Jericho came to mind. I think it's easy to build up walls around my heart...to resist being vulnerable with those trusted friends. These walls block me in, they put limits on how much I can grow. They keep me in a comfort zone. But, God is patient and faithful with His servant...He will walk around those walls 7 or 70 times...however many 'realizations' it takes to crumble down the walls so He can full invade my heart and  lead my life according to His will. Oftentimes, He even has an 'army' with Him...perhaps to chip away at the wall little by little, or to protect me in my stubbornness.

I am thankful for a faithful and persistent God; I pray that as He crumbles my walls, He will unsettle me and provide me with the strength and boldness to be fruitful. And, one thing I love about this analogy He put on my heart is, despite threats along the way, ultimately God triumphs!

Quick and Easy Snack Bars

Although today is the first Saturday I have had in a long while with nothing that has to be done and baking is sure to come, I actually made these bars a couple of weeks ago and am finally getting around to posting. Hmm...maybe I'll make another batch this weekend. This is a great, quick recipe that I stumbled upon when I had some extra cranberries from Thanksgiving and it has turned into one of my go-to snack recipes (especially since TJs opened in town). I love the versatility of this recipe, as well as how quick it is to make! For this batch, I used the last bit of peach butter from the freezer that I made last fall...I can't wait for peach season to come back around! The options for these bars are many!

Quick and Easy Snack Bars
Adapted from Stephanie on Tasty Kitchen
Yield: 12 bars (1, 9x13-inch pan)

Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups Trader Joes's Whole Grain Multipurpose Baking Mix
1 cup rolled oats
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 cup Greek yogurt (I used one single serve container of non-fat vanilla)
2 eggs
4 T. butter, melted
1-2 cups fruit spread (jelly, jam, or butter)*

Directions: 
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, combine the baking mix, oats, and cinnamon.
3. Add the yogurt, eggs, and melted butter.
4. Stir until moistened; this will be a biscuit-like dough (a little sticky).
5. Butter a 9x13 inch baking dish.
6. Press down approximately 2/3 of the dough into the bottom of the pan.
7. Top the bottom layer of dough with your choice of fruit spread. (Make sure it is a good layer to balance out the bar.)
8. Drop the remainder of the dough on top of the fruit spread (I just pinch off little bits and drop them by hand.)
9. Bake for 30 minutes or until the top is golden brown.
10. Let the bars cool completely before cutting into them (trust me...wait!).

Enjoy now, for breakfast on the go, or they also freeze well!

*There are endless options for the filling! I have used purchased jams and jellies, as well as homemade butters and whole fruit. This is also a great use for leftover cranberries around the holidays (a bag of cranberries boiled down in a cup of orange juice, then cooled a little)!

Pursuing Perfection: Mental Tug of War

If ever there were a topic or single word that denotes a consistent struggle for me, it would be perfectionism. I go back and forth as to whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, whether it is a vain pursuit or a compelling pursuit for honoring God with my best. It is a mental tug of war in which either side could be winning...it just depends on when you catch me for which side has the extra 'heave-ho'. For the moment, though, I'll be the referee. Technically, there are two main definitions of perfection: 1. free from fault or defect, and 2. an exemplification of extreme excellence. Ok...there are additional definitions, but for the sake of this post and rationale, these are the main two. After looking up these definitions, my first thought was that this helps to explain where the tug of war begins. And, I may just have to conclude that I could talk myself in a circle around this terminology and how our culture has perpetuated the compromise of true perfectionism and opened so many of us up for this pursuit and mental tug of war.

Taking a look at the second definition first...an exemplification of extreme excellence. I can't help but laugh a little when I read this...it is the root of my pursuit of this thing we call perfection. I can remember being called 'little miss perfect' even in early elementary school by my peers...and then more toward middle school getting a few evil glares from them when I would turn in an assignment that was intended to be pretty simple that I turned into a creative, over-the-top version of that assignment. I'm sure I also drove my mother up the wall with the array of assignments for school that I complicated and spent far more time on than I should have. Yet, she...and my peers and teachers over the years just came to understand that it was going to be that way...I sort of went to the beat of my own drum, at least in the sense of abiding by the rubric to a T then adding to it :). Now, I just drive myself up the wall some days when I do something, then come back and rework it...when, i'm certain the first version of it was just fine. It is ingrained in me through my achievement orientation...something you can't just push aside (well, at least I have not figured out how to). Trust me...I have tried...and, even if I do submit something that is not how I want it...it physically pains me to do so. This has been particularly tough this past semester...trying to figure out how to balance out coursework that I want to to my best at with higher priorities of doing my best at work and keeping my relationships with friends, family and God as top priority. I think this is where the first definition comes in...free from fault or defect. One thing I have learned over the years, is that there will always be something to add, correct, or learn that would make some assignment better. Doing our best within a given time frame is really all we can do; most of the time when working on a project, I'll just get to that point of being done with whatever 'it' may be and don't stress over edits beyond that point (if they happen, great...if not, it is what it is...). And, perfection is pretty subjective to who is judging whatever 'it' may be, right? Right.

So, if I have already come to this conclusion, then why this mental tug of war? Well, my tug of war typically comes from walking the fine line of perfection in regard to what I do versus trying to be perfect. The differentiation boils down to an attitude or approach for me. If pursuing perfection is driving me toward doing better, it's good; if it is weighing me down and interfering with relationships, there is an issue. I think the pursuit of perfection in what I do can drive me toward an excellent end product that can bring glory to God. But, it is when that line is crossed that the vanity can arise. We are told in Hebrews 12: 2 - "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." We know that He is the only truly perfect thing to walk this Earth. And, we also know from James 1:17-18 that, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." What a delightful and humbling thought that He considers us the best that He created, and may we always strive to give our best back to Him. I pray that this pursuit of perfectionism is always paired with a humility and recognition that I can only strive to do excellent things that glorify Him and one day will be made perfect only because of His sacrifice, once in His presence.

Thus, no real conclusion...just livin' on a prayer and hoping that my tendencies don't get in the way of His work...