A Tale of Two Blenders

If you visited my home in the last 6 months, my counter has looked like the above photo...two blenders. One trusted, older blender that has survived about 10 years of morning smoothies and other uses; the other, new blender that arrived just after the new year. You see, in the Fall I started to notice the old blender starting to fade and the seal beginning to be compromised. So, I ordered the new one with excitement for a new kitchen tool. And then, it sat. I kept using the old one, waiting for it to officially die and maximize its use before tossing it. Y'all...it is still going! 

But, it was time to stop looking at two blenders on my counter (and time to reclaim that space). 

The old, leaky blender replaced with the new, fully sealed jar.
The old, multi-function blender replaced with the new, simpler functions of blend, pulse and off. 

I finally removed the instruction pages, washed up the new blender, and moved the old blender off the counter. It was long overdue. 

Perhaps you may read that and think, 'a new blender and more counter space - great!' But it also had me thinking about other connections of old and new in reference to a Bible study I'm going through right now. 

How often do I hang on to the old, familiar thing? How often do I choose the comfortable and convenient thing? All the while something new, something better is sitting right there. 

In Isaiah 43, it says:

18 “Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
¹⁹ Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.

When a new thing comes, it beckons change...change that is many times met with reluctance.  Perhaps it is a simpler way than the old, more complex way. We need to be attentive to perceive the new thing and the opportunities it may offer, while keeping in mind that new does not always mean easier and calls us to go all in. 

Just as Christ taught us through wineskins... "And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.” - Mark 2: 22

Change beckons us to embrace the new, to perceive what He desires to do through the new; if we try to embrace bits of the new while trying to keep the old framework...it will eventually crumble and we find ourselves back at 'square one'. We have to choose to move past the old and embrace the new; the old may never 'officially die' but rather provide lessons we carry with us as we embark on the new.

Often when making a change to something new, we pull back when we meet resistance or it doesn't quite bring the results we had hoped for in the time frame expected. But what if the resistance was part of the new process? It's certainly easier to trust Him when things are going our way and change merits timely results; but He desires us to trust Him through the challenges, through the trials, through the resistance, walking confidently in whatever change He has laid on our hearts and minds to make and trusting that He is molding us through the journey. His timing. Regardless of the wait time. His will be done.

As I recently learned, there is no Hebrew word equivalent to our English word 'obey'...the word translated is typically 'shema' which means to hear. You see, 'to hear' in that time was to do, to follow and fulfill what the Lord brought to you. But to hear, you must listen; and to listen, you must make time. In the midst of embracing something new, time to listen is critical to combat doubt.

The enemy would love nothing more then for you to stay in the old, comfortable thing...to distract us from hearing and put doubt in our midst. Keep choosing His new mercies each morning.

So, what's He laying on my/your heart and mind to change, to 'shema'? Whatever it is...
Choose His new. Choose daily, by the minute, however many times doubt enters your thought process. Choose His new, even when it's hard.
Choose His new.

And, as for that old blender...the base I'm hanging on to, as it serves a specific purpose of having a lower setting to help blend a couple of specific recipes; but the jar that had run its course...finally gone. The new blender is working marvelously. If only habits and behaviors were as simple as finally choosing to change out a blender on the counter. One step at a time...shema.
 

The Unspoken Battle

 I recently visited my family, which means staying in my old room. You know, the one that hasn't changed much since you left for college some 15 or so years ago (besides becoming a storage area for all of the Christmas or grandkids things). That is in part because when I left for grad school out of state the idea was always...when you have a house of your own, you can take what you want... However, when I settled in to life as a young professional, it was a 1,000 miles from my parents and in an apartment - not so conducive for bringing some favorites. And, I'm still rocking the single life so have not had the want to share some of that nostalgia with someone else yet. So, I've been trying to sort a little every time I visit so when that day comes it is not quite the overwhelming effort. 

On this recent trip, I came across some notes from when I was 15...significant because the end of year 15 of my life is what I would call the end of my natural connection to food. Now, please don't read that as I don't have any connection to food after that (lol); I have, for as long as I remember, loved being in the kitchen - baking, cooking, and bringing people together over food. What I do mean by that statement is that my natural connection to the food that fuels me to do what I do every day, the way I thought and think about food forever changed that year. Because that is what having an eating disorder does. Along with putting a strain on so many relationships through the actual season you are in the depths of that awful disease, it also impacts the way you think about food - I would dare to say forever. 

I have often wondered what it would be like to have that 'normal' or natural connection back again. Or, do others who have never walked that awful road of an eating disorder or disordered eating even know that others fight that unspoken battle some/many days long after 'recovery'?

With every found item, memory that pops up at random, or unexpected connection to someone else who has/continues to face this unspoken battle...there are a few things I have to remind myself as a follower of Christ: 

1. I have walked this life pathway for a purpose. I may never put the pieces all together about why it happened to me; perhaps some day I may share about it with someone who does not know Christ and can show them how He brought me through it, or some day He will show me what He protected me from in those younger years by me pulling back into that seemingly alternate world in my brain. 

2. Christ has given me freedom from the shackles of an eating disorder and I walk in His victory. However, knowing this fact does not mean there will not still be battles faced in this area; there may be seasons that I go months without thinking about it but there may also be seasons where it is a battle to daily remind myself of all the things I know to be true but may not be believing in the moment. 

3. He has blessed me with community to pray with and support me in the best and worst of life. Some understand this unspoken battle, while others may not even know my back story. The power of prayer is unmatched and His encouragement comes often through those that have no idea the depth of meaning in the words they say. 

While seemingly simple, those truthful reminders did not come to be on a quick timeline by any means. I spent years simply focused on the next big goal to avoid processing the back story that lead to those understandings. I'm thankful that through all of the seasons that surround this topic - both the ones when I struggle yet again and wonder what piece of the lesson from the Lord did I not learn, and the ones where I feel so in step with the Spirit that I forget about the struggle for a bit - He has been and continues to be with me through it all. One of the ways in which the Lord has helped me sort through this mostly unspoken battle is in writing poetry. Yesterday as I was reflecting on many things - trying to 'be still' for just a bit longer, and this came out to be a reminder to myself of His promises that overcome even the worst of days/thoughts. Perhaps it can bless or encourage you as well, or give a glimpse at some of the battles others may be fighting - unbeknownst to you. 

The Unspoken Battle

As the spotlight turns my direction, I push it away.

I don't see what they see; I don't feel worthy today.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are worthy in My eyes.

As the battle rages, I will give you strength to arise.

In the spotlight I see my silhouette, my confidence falls short.

Then my vision and purpose all seem to distort.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are beautiful to behold;

Through the battle, you must not believe the lies Satan has told.

In the scrutiny of the spotlight, unrealistic expectations take their toll.

The mission is overwhelming, why have you called me to this role?

Take heart, my daughter, for you are thoroughly equipped for every good thing.

Though battles come relentlessly, remember I am Savior and King.

In the spotlight of this world, a moment of influence is fleeting.

As battle lines are drawn, many will rush and try competing.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are Mine.

Therefore, go, lead as He leads you and let your light shine!

Roots & Wings

Growing up in a small town, the value for community was instilled in me early. There's just something about being in a place where you know you have people you can trust and call in a pinch, who will be there for you no matter what...who celebrate with you, who pray with you through the challenges, and who know your story and love you all the more for it, as they've seen the Lord work through it to make you who you are today. While the value for such community was instilled in rural Illinois, my parents also gave me wings - the blessing to chase after opportunities the Lord continued to open. Don't worry...my adventuring days are not over! But as I've settled in to my faculty role here at UF, it has become clear that it's time (or some would say beyond time) to put down some roots here in Gainesville.

After entering my 10th year of renting my sweet little apartment, I began praying about buying a house. Trust me when I say that this aspect of "adulting" was certainly something I never imagined doing alone. Yet, as I thought more about that I realized that while this house hunting adventure happened while still rocking the single life, I most definitely have not done it alone. Every piece of this journey has brought a smile to my face in how the Lord has orchestrated detail after detail, blessing me with more than I ever could have asked or imagined. Here are a few highlights....

• Just a couple of years after moving to Gainesville, I began volunteering to help put on an event called Leadercast in the community, which connected me to many amazing people in the area. One of those individuals was Craig Wilburn. Craig has graciously been a guest speaker in my classes over the years, and is an all-around great guy - seeking to honor God in all he does, has a beautiful family, and serves his community well. Did I mention he's a realty guru? I knew if I ever decided to purchase a house here, Craig would be the first I contacted...and his entire team have been amazing! He connected me to one of his team members, Del, who has been a God-send as I sorted through what I really wanted in a home, looked at several places, and walking with me every step of the way! Craig, Del, & Terry - THANK YOU!
  
• My new house was not even on the market yet. After an offer falling through on another property, my realtor Del found another place in the same neighborhood with a nearly identical (but better) layout. I was in Illinois when she found the place, so she sent me a video tour...as soon as I watched the video, I knew that was going to be my home. Seeing it in person only confirmed it...I walked out from the brief showing ready to make an offer.
  
• Because it was not on the market yet, there was time flexibility (allowing me to finish out my lease) and I had the opportunity to meet the sellers throughout the process - a huge blessing and from what I hear, not normal in home transactions). 
  
• After my offer was accepted, I learned that furniture was up for discussion. Talk about above and beyond blessings! Moving from an apartment to a home meant I was going to need a good bit of furniture. The Lord provided through the sellers this blessing of all the essentials at an incredible price point...and, their style is on point with mine!
  
• Inspections showed that the sellers had taken great care of this house, with just a few minor 'fix it' things to do in the coming months! And, the appraiser (who is coordinated through the bank) ended up being a friend from church!
  
• Neighbors - Since I was able to have a few conversations with the sellers, I knew a little bit about the neighbors I will be getting to know. One of my new neighbors is a connection through a new friend...small world moment to say the least!
  
• Location could not be more perfect...just a few miles from work, a few miles in the other direction to church, and directly across the street from my gym.
  
• Moving crew - my besties and my LifeGroup at church are all about literally doing life together...that means they show up when you need them, and I certainly could not move myself. So grateful for the many who offered and are coming to help get all my stuff moved a few miles from point A to B! (Especially the books...I have a lot of books :)...)
  

In the days leading up to closing, I kept thinking 'is this real?'... Well, with a new set of keys and my apartment in boxes...it is most certainly real (and surreal). In the midst of so much chaos in the world, the Lord blessed me with a new kind of adventure when my typical globetrotting adventures came to a pause. I'm excited to transition and settle in...getting to finally put my touch on a home...and can't wait to gather people together around my table. My prayer is that this home brings glory to Him, and many will be blessed as they gather together for good food and fellowship for however long He has me in this place. 

Hebrews 10:19-25

Now, time to head to campus to teach my first “mask to mask” class of the semester...

Grateful...so, so grateful...

Connecting the Spoons

Whether you have followed this blog since the beginning or joined somewhere along the journey, you may find its title - "Spoonspirations" - a little odd. Yes, I love to bake and wooden spoons are my 'sought-after' item when I travel. But, it is the original wooden spoon find that started it all back in 2009.

In 2009, I took my first big solo international adventure to Prague leading in to the International Leadership Association Conference. A pre-conference "world cafe" event had be navigating public transportation to a community school on the outskirts of the city to participate in conversations about global issues and what we could collectively do to make a positive impact. When my tram stop came, I stepped off to look for the anticipated school representative to help navigate from the stop to the school. To my surprise, there was no one waiting; after a few minutes of contemplating options and the event start time approaching, I set off to find the school. I found a delightful man walking out of his home and greeted him to ask for directions. And quickly discovered he spoke no English (which match my language skills to him). Lesson learned: a smile and some gestures go a long way across cultural barriers. He pointed in me in a direction, which ended up being the way toward the school. I made it to the school (a little late)  and engaged in conversations on issues and solutions connected to the need for leadership and action. Those conversations were a pivotal point in my career trajectory; though leadership education was a passion, "global" as part of leadership education was affirmed.

At that conference, I also had breakfast with Dr. Carter - a faculty member at the University of Florida. As a nearly done Masters student, I laid out my thoughts to her on future directions - Ph.D programs I was considering and potential jobs. I am forever grateful for her lending an ear that morning and offering advice for my continued thinking on the matter.

Clearly a memorable conference...of which in searching for a souvenir to bring home in my minimalist packing, I found a wooden spoon! A perfect thing to bring home as a pragmatic individual who loves to cook and bake. It became a reminder every time I baked of the connections I made on that adventure. And then as I traveled more, it became a symbolic item that represents the connections I make as I travel (and here at home for those close-knit friends who bring me back spoons from their travels and gather at my table to share).

About 6-8 months after that Prague conference, I received a message from Dr. Carter about a new position at UF to coordinate the CALS Leadership Institute and Teaching Resource Center programs in the College of Agricultural and Life Sciences. A month or so later...I was moving to Gainesville, FL knowing just a few folks at the university through connections in professional associations. I figured I would work a couple of years, then figure out what doctoral program I wanted to do and see where life would go from there. (I actually just laughed a little as I typed that.)

Fast forward a little over 8 years...still here in Gainesville at UF (with the addition of a UF degree along the way). I love my job...the students and faculty I get to teach and serve, the CALS family I get to work with...I love the Gainesville community and especially my Westside family. So, when the questions started coming (as they naturally do after you complete a PhD) about "What's next?"...I kept saying I don't know. I knew the Lord had me in a season of waiting and rest, but was not sure what the next steps would be. I dreaded the thought of leaving UF, especially considering my work with our CALS LI program reflected so many of my passions in one gig. But, I knew I had to consider what that next step would be in order to recognize and act upon the opportunity when the time came. The next question was typically, "What is your ideal job?" My answer was usually along the lines of: "If I could keep the CALS Leadership Institute and add additional teaching responsibilities in AEC, I would be thrilled." And that's what I've been praying for since before I finished my Ph.D.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

Y'all...I am just beside myself! A couple of months ago, that dream job description was posted...at UF! Never did I imagine that those prayers would be answered in a way that would enable me to stay. I am thrilled to share that my next career chapter will be right here at UF. As of January 2, 2019, I will be a new faculty member in the Department of Agricultural Education and Communication with a 100% Teaching appointment as Lecturer of Global Agricultural Leadership. This position entails continued coordination of the CALS Leadership Institute and the teaching connected with the program, as well as coordination and teaching effort for the Global Leadership and Change Certificate (and a few other duties). To top it all off, I had the opportunity to give a seminar during the interview process...where I shared my spoon story!

I am beyond excited to stay at UF and for the opportunity to join the CALS AEC family as a faculty member! Here's to new opportunities and challenges for growth in the new year! To all those who have prayed with me for this opportunity - thank you! Continued prayers always welcomed as this new adventure begins! #Grateful #Thankful #Blessed

A Season of Rest

"How long, O Lord..." ...
"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." ...
"I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint." ...
"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."
- Habakkuk 1:2, 1:5, 2:1, 2:3

I just love this back and forth between Habakkuk and God...it's honest and direct. It shows doubt that is followed by deeper trust, questioning for clarity that leads to deeper trust, and intentionality in expecting an answer from God. And, it ultimately reminds us that God's timing is perfect...even if we may lack the patience and vision to gracefully wait and see 'it' (whatever it may be) come to fruition. 
I really liked the point made in First 5 yesterday with focus on Habakkuk 2:
"Sometimes we may want an explanation, but God may give us a revelation instead.
And when God shows us more of Himself, our view of Him expands, and when our view of Him expands, our understanding of His nature grows as well. God's answer to our prayers and our pleadings may not always be the answer we were hoping for, but we can always trust that God is still moving and working out His will."

After all, "Why?" is an easy question to ask...talk to any 2-3 year old for long and their curiosity of how things work will prove that point. As we get older, the depth of that question grows and takes on a whole new meaning and complexity that does indeed merit an indefinite time of waiting (likely impatiently). As we seek those answers, sometimes we're called to a season of rest.

"But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." - Habakkuk 2:20
"I stand in awe of your deed, O Lord." - Habakkuk 3:2

I have found myself here in this season of rest for the beginning part of 2018. If I'm being honest, I knew I was to be in such a season after I completed my doctoral program; yet, I jumped right in to additional responsibilities for the Fall semester. So, as some symptoms of burnout were bubbling up toward the end of 2017, it was crystal clear that 2018 needed to start with more 'nos' than 'yeses' and making an intentional effort to be still and rest for a season. In the past 3 months, I've gained a few key insights...
1. In rest, I have time to rediscover purpose. I had been so caught up in the laundry list of things that needed to be completed on a day to day basis that I forgot just how much I enjoy creative approaches to things. When things are so busy, I easily fall into the comparison game and trap of 'imposter syndrome'. This season of rest has spurred my creativity rand renewed my confidence to execute some long overdue projects this summer. (Cue the nerdy excitement!)
2. In rest...I can refocus on my relationships. Whether it's old, new, or relatively longstanding relationships, intentionally reaching out to others is key. This Spring has been a refreshing time of reflection about the various lessons I have learned through others the Lord places in my life, the role I have to play in others' lives as an encourager, and the intent it takes to build or maintain such relationships.
3. In rest, my Spirit is refilled. When life is moving at a rapid pace, it's easy to focus on the logistics of how to accomplish everything and seeking for clarity. Yet, He desires us to seek Him not so much for clarity, but rather learning to know Him and trust Him more. He is the sole restorer of the soul.

Day by day, the waiting continues for the myriad of 'why' questions I have murmured along this journey. But, even in the waiting, we are called to serve with those many gifts he has given to each of us. So...Seek. Serve. Repeat. is the current mantra with great anticipation for what will be. Though I see this season of rest coming to a close, I am grateful for this odd but now welcomed period of time.

"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength;...he enables me to go on the heights." - Habakkuk 3:18-19

PhD Reflections & What's Next...

"Blessed is the one...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season..."
- Psalm 1: 1-3

Over the past week, I have been overwhelmed by the many, many people sending congratulatory messages and celebrating with me as I finished the long journey to my Ph.D. Blessed is truly the only way to simply express how I feel. I am certainly proud of this milestone in my academic career, and so grateful in knowing how many people have come alongside of me to encourage, pray for, and guide me on this journey the past 5 years. Yet, this academic journey has also included an intense internal journey for me unbeknownst to most...and perhaps a deeper level of celebration for me because I know how far the Lord has brought me on that level as I have pursued this degree.
So, if you're curious about what this journey has been for me, read on for a glimpse of vulnerability in sharing part of my story...and perhaps my answer to the inevitable "what's next?" may make a little more sense too.

While my Ph.D. journey began in typical 'doing this part-time student' fashion...aka classes and more classes on top of my usual work, it was flipped upside down a couple of years in with one class and an option to walk through a process on a personal level as we read through the book Immunity to Change. For those of you who read my post then, you know how much of an impact that process had on me. Yet, as I noted then, it was not simply an aha! moment...it was the beginning of a process that has been ongoing since...with many ups and downs, twists and turns.
And, as I look back, I can see His hand in all of it over the past few years...because tackling those personal issues has been imperative to getting to where I am now. I struggle a bit of how to articulate what the journey has been under the surface for me of pressing forward through this Ph.D. journey. For anyone who relates to the struggles of perfectionism and insecurity for various reasons...you know that ebb and flow of belief in yourself and imposter syndrome; though what we show the world is strong and pulled together, there are days when we come home wondering if we really are capable of the dreams we set forth. So, some of what the Lord has taught me along this journey is this...

When I focus on serving others and helping others grow, I find strength and joy...and I grow too.

When I delve deep into resources to be a better teacher, I gain an appreciation for the work I get to do every day and the confidence to share it with others.

When I get critical of others and myself, I need to step back from the stress of the situation to let grace come in.

When I doubt the worth my ideas or contributions to a conversation, I must find the courage to share them anyways.

When I get frustrated for not being able to keep a certain pace, I need to take a realistic look at my expectations and adapt with a little discipline.

These may seem like pretty simple realizations, but they have each come with profound insights to both my identity in Christ and self-efficacy. Some may not see a change...for me, however, it has been a tremendous shift from what I perceived I needed to be for others to becoming authentically confident in simply being me (and will continue growing as such). And, the peace that comes with that is quite amazing.

"Phinally Done!" While I will always be a learner, attaining this goal capped my formal academic degrees. Of course, then, the question of "what's next" is only natural. I feel that the Lord planted me here in Florida for a season, crossing my path with the people I needed to make this journey. Yet, as one formal aspect of the journey comes to a close, I have not felt that this season is done...I feel like there's still much the Lord would have me do right here. And so, I have opted to stay. Yes, I am technically "overqualified" for my current position and certainly now qualified to now apply for faculty jobs wherever they become available. But, those of you who know me well know that I am not one big on titles...for me, it's more important to be doing work that I love and offers the opportunity to make a difference, and to be surrounded by great people. And my current post fits the bill for both of those aspects. I have several projects that took a back burner over the past few years...and I'm excited to be dusting some of those off with hope for opportunities to share some of the neat things we've been doing.

However, I will also say that in this time of contentment and taking advantage of some newfound time for tackling those pushed aside projects, I am giving myself permission to dream again. With a major goal attained, I'm praying about what is next whenever that time comes...whether it be a change in responsibilities here or if the Lord calls me elsewhere. After all, I surrendered this journey called life to Him many years ago...His glory, my reward...I'm grateful and blessed beyond measure as the celebrations fade and this new title sinks in...yet, I can't help but wonder how He is already orchestrating the use of this new title along this great adventure.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me." - Psalm 51:10

PS - One month 'til celebrating my style...heading on mission to Kenya for 10 days! :) 

Taming the Inner Critic

The fall-like weather this week (at least in the mornings) drew me to take a short walk this morning. As I meandered around my apartment complex before dawn, I thought about a comment from last night's Bible study class. In talking after class with a couple of friends, the comment was made, "We are our own worst critics." I can't tell you how many times I have claimed and do claim that comment as I go about tasks, projects, and daily life. Most of the time, it's an internal commentary but occasionally makes it out in such a comment (likely in a hesitant fashion to try to rationalize that maybe I was being too hard on myself or having some unrealistic expectation). If I were truly honest, I'd probably be embarrassed if others could hear my inner critic that is so deeply rooted.

But this morning was a different train of thought, as I attempt to be more mindful of "taking every thought captive" (2 Cor. 10:5). So, here's what God put on my heart and in my thoughts as I considered this inner critic this morning...

Being a critic - of myself or others - is not of God. It more often than not takes on a condemning tone, rather than a constructive or convicting tone. As we walk with God, we know that the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin, but never condemn. Conviction beckons repentance at the foot of the cross. Condemnation comes from Satan to ensnare us with the thoughts that we're not __________ enough, we're not worthy of God's love and that's the end story. But let us not forget that, though we are not worthy in our own right, as followers of Christ we are made worthy by the sacrifice Christ made on the cross.

Romans 8:1-4
"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the Law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in likeness of sinful man, as an offering for sin. He thus condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous standard of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."

In condemning ourselves, we take a seat of judgement of our own actions through our own eyes. We can even be hypocritical, failing to recognize God as the only true judge instead of humbly seeking God for a deeper sense of identity as a follower of Christ.

Romans 14:22
"The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves."

I can't help but think about how many times my inner critic has halted me from pursuing an idea, sharing my work, following that gut instinct. Yet, amidst the 'what ifs?' there's a steadfast trust that refocuses my attention to the One thing that matters most with renewed confidence of this:

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

So, here's to taming the inner critic, to trusting and taking thoughts captive...seeking as Romans 12:2 says, to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."