The Unspoken Battle

 I recently visited my family, which means staying in my old room. You know, the one that hasn't changed much since you left for college some 15 or so years ago (besides becoming a storage area for all of the Christmas or grandkids things). That is in part because when I left for grad school out of state the idea was always...when you have a house of your own, you can take what you want... However, when I settled in to life as a young professional, it was a 1,000 miles from my parents and in an apartment - not so conducive for bringing some favorites. And, I'm still rocking the single life so have not had the want to share some of that nostalgia with someone else yet. So, I've been trying to sort a little every time I visit so when that day comes it is not quite the overwhelming effort. 

On this recent trip, I came across some notes from when I was 15...significant because the end of year 15 of my life is what I would call the end of my natural connection to food. Now, please don't read that as I don't have any connection to food after that (lol); I have, for as long as I remember, loved being in the kitchen - baking, cooking, and bringing people together over food. What I do mean by that statement is that my natural connection to the food that fuels me to do what I do every day, the way I thought and think about food forever changed that year. Because that is what having an eating disorder does. Along with putting a strain on so many relationships through the actual season you are in the depths of that awful disease, it also impacts the way you think about food - I would dare to say forever. 

I have often wondered what it would be like to have that 'normal' or natural connection back again. Or, do others who have never walked that awful road of an eating disorder or disordered eating even know that others fight that unspoken battle some/many days long after 'recovery'?

With every found item, memory that pops up at random, or unexpected connection to someone else who has/continues to face this unspoken battle...there are a few things I have to remind myself as a follower of Christ: 

1. I have walked this life pathway for a purpose. I may never put the pieces all together about why it happened to me; perhaps some day I may share about it with someone who does not know Christ and can show them how He brought me through it, or some day He will show me what He protected me from in those younger years by me pulling back into that seemingly alternate world in my brain. 

2. Christ has given me freedom from the shackles of an eating disorder and I walk in His victory. However, knowing this fact does not mean there will not still be battles faced in this area; there may be seasons that I go months without thinking about it but there may also be seasons where it is a battle to daily remind myself of all the things I know to be true but may not be believing in the moment. 

3. He has blessed me with community to pray with and support me in the best and worst of life. Some understand this unspoken battle, while others may not even know my back story. The power of prayer is unmatched and His encouragement comes often through those that have no idea the depth of meaning in the words they say. 

While seemingly simple, those truthful reminders did not come to be on a quick timeline by any means. I spent years simply focused on the next big goal to avoid processing the back story that lead to those understandings. I'm thankful that through all of the seasons that surround this topic - both the ones when I struggle yet again and wonder what piece of the lesson from the Lord did I not learn, and the ones where I feel so in step with the Spirit that I forget about the struggle for a bit - He has been and continues to be with me through it all. One of the ways in which the Lord has helped me sort through this mostly unspoken battle is in writing poetry. Yesterday as I was reflecting on many things - trying to 'be still' for just a bit longer, and this came out to be a reminder to myself of His promises that overcome even the worst of days/thoughts. Perhaps it can bless or encourage you as well, or give a glimpse at some of the battles others may be fighting - unbeknownst to you. 

The Unspoken Battle

As the spotlight turns my direction, I push it away.

I don't see what they see; I don't feel worthy today.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are worthy in My eyes.

As the battle rages, I will give you strength to arise.

In the spotlight I see my silhouette, my confidence falls short.

Then my vision and purpose all seem to distort.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are beautiful to behold;

Through the battle, you must not believe the lies Satan has told.

In the scrutiny of the spotlight, unrealistic expectations take their toll.

The mission is overwhelming, why have you called me to this role?

Take heart, my daughter, for you are thoroughly equipped for every good thing.

Though battles come relentlessly, remember I am Savior and King.

In the spotlight of this world, a moment of influence is fleeting.

As battle lines are drawn, many will rush and try competing.

Take heart, my daughter, for you are Mine.

Therefore, go, lead as He leads you and let your light shine!

Mindful to Be

The above photo is from my time in a rural village in Peru - Patabamba. Though it's been over a month now since I returned from that adventure with my CALS Leadership Institute students, I have been thinking about my mountain time today. One thing I love about travel is it's a time for me to create a space to better reflect and think. Especially through this summer of doing my qualifying exams and now in the steady process of actually doing the research I proposed to do, an overwhelmed schedule seems to be more of a commonality than weeks where choosing to join a social event or reading something for pleasure is a possibility. And in the midst of a constantly moving schedule, I long for a day to transport my mind to a quieter pace, to truly have a few moments to think deeply and soak in life. Well, after a few months of 'I'll get to it' or 'I'll make that up later'...I had that 'aha' moment (yet again)...timing and my schedule are not going to magically change...I have to make time to do the things I really want and deeply need to do, be it write more, connect with friends more, workout wore, cook more, pray more, etc. So, if that means setting the alarm clock earlier and getting creative a bit, then so be it. :) And, while there is so much more Id like to say...that alarm clock I mentioned is set for quite early to get in that much needed workout time to start my day, so I'll leave you with a little something God put on my heart while I was up in Patabamba...words I need to keep repeating to myself in the midst of this quickening pace and climb... 

Mindful To Be

In the morning, I awake to beams of sunlight;

Thankful for another peaceful, restful night.

I look out to the mountains reaching majestically to the sky;

Amazed at the journey you lead me on with each breath that passes by.

Your creation beckons humility and inspires such awe;

In each season of life, may I bring glory to You in them all.

The cool breeze refreshes me as I walk around this place;

Mindful of Your blessings amidst this simpler space.

Lord, You have slowed my pace in these moments of time;

Renew my spirit, revive my strength, prepare me for the next climb.

As I return to paces quickening, help me be mindful and to see;

Your purpose in each day as to who You call me to be.

As I Wait...

Do you ever find yourself waiting in line? What's your immediate reaction? After discussing technology use with my students this semester, I made an effort to be more aware of how I was responding to those little moments of waiting in the midst of trying to be active. And, I must confess...I was a little disappointed in myself...at how quickly a simple line or a change of the stoplight to red made me reach for my phone...as if there was something I missed in the 10 minutes of driving or walking around the grocery store. I've even noticed it the past couple weeks...down time in a rehearsal or a lull in a group...my mind races to other things instead of simply soaking in the moment. AGH! I thought I was making some improvements in being more intentional with my time and thoughts. Clearly, I have a ways to go. How challenging it is in our instant gratification and response society to go against the grain...to be ok with silence and actually enjoy a moment to wait.


I think my frustration with waiting comes often when  I perceive that I can't get anything else accomplished, that my oh so precious time is being wasted. And, with that thought, I just have to smile and laugh...that laugh that comes from realizing you're being taught something for the umpteenth time. It's that humbling laugh of seeing where you've taken a step or two toward pride in claiming time as my own. It's that laugh that brings you to Your knees and drives you to His Word, grateful yet again for His grace and mercy that covers the shortfalls not seeing such moments as opportunities to actually think and thank Him for the overflow of blessings evident by simply looking around while there in line. And, it's that awkward laugh in realizing that the very words He gave me in prose a short while ago are now beckoning me to read again to draw be back to that moment of unity with His thoughts. 
Thankfully, His Word is full of waiting (I suppose that means we can collectively be pretty impatient for His timing), AND full of instruction of what to DO in our waiting. 

• In waiting, we HOPE..."We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name." - Psalm 33: 20-21

• In waiting, we are to be EAGER and STAND FIRM... "God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 1:6-8

• In waiting, we LISTEN with a JOYFUL heart..."The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete." - John 3:29

• In waiting, we  LIVE self-controlled, upright and godly lives... "It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." - Titus 2:12-14

• In waiting, we TRUST..."Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." - Isaiah 40:31

Forgive me, Lord, when I try to rush Your perfect plan;
For in Your presence I long to be walking through this season;
Draw me closer, Lord, as I cling to Your Word;
Father, light Your fire of purpose in my soul;
Lord, may Your mission be the contagious rhythm of my heart;

So grateful that His Word encourages and reassures my heart in the little moments of waiting, as well as in the waiting for the bigger moments of His plan. So, the next time you're standing in line waiting...join me in trying to remember to simply turn our thoughts to Him and how He desires to use those few moments instead of reaching for the phone. (I'm pretty sure we won't miss much in the world in those few minutes...but, what we could miss is a great opportunity for God to use us in an unexpected way.) To close, here's the prayer He put on my heart just a short while ago...may it be a blessing to you this day. 

As I Wait
Father, may hallelujah and praises be ever lifted to You;
From my lips to exalt my Savior with each day anew.

Forgive me, Lord, when I try to rush Your perfect plan;
Grant me patience to humbly submit and courage to boldly stand.

For in Your presence I long to be walking through this season;
Obediently I follow, trusting that in each experience my faith will deepen.

Draw me closer, Lord, as I cling to Your Word;
Holding fast to Your promises, may Your Spirit be stirred.

Father, light Your fire of purpose in my soul;
To see Your vision of my piece in the whole.

Lord, may Your mission be the contagious rhythm of my heart;
May I not tire to seek and serve in that which You have set apart.
Amen

Grace on Mission

I knew after going out to do outreach just one afternoon during our medical clinics last year that I would go back to Benin again. This year, I went with the idea that my time in Ganvie would either bring closure to what I felt my unfinished task was there (outreach), or open my eyes to the people and see a strategic direction for our church's engagement there. 

Honestly, I stepped off the plane expecting closure; I drove away from the dock after our last day out in Ganvie with tears in my eyes, my heart captured by this people group whom I can't even communicate with if a translator is not around. Funny how God works like that. While strategy is yet to be determined, I'll just say that I still have a year left on my visa to Benin...

Here are a few highlights from my journey to Ganvie, Benin this year: 

- The very first home I went to, I met Delphine with her baby and young son (and a chicken who kept wanting to join us). She shared about the struggles facing her family; I shared the story of the demoniac, and my teammate also shared the Gospel. She was hungry for God's Word...and ready to accept the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We prayed with her, that God would use her decision to impact her family, and that she would continue to grow in knowledge and understanding of Christ. 

- On the second day, I was a little sick (which I've come to expect when traveling). I still went out...we stepped off the boat for our final stop of the morning...to walk right past a voodoo sacrifice altar area and into what seemed to be a voodoo worship area under construction. You could feel the oppression...but what an amazing opportunity to confidently declare the Word of God to those people! And, praise the Lord for keeping me well enough to make it through that visit and back to the hotel! 

- Another day, I went out with a translator who truly has a gift of working with children. At our first stop, we walked past a mosque and voodoo huts to get to a common gathering area...and we quickly had 75 kids of all ages listening intently to a story, then up singing praises and dancing!

So many more stories I could tell from our visits around Ganvie! Though I'm not one to lean on statistics...I much prefer the stories of relationships being built...our team visited with over 1,200 people in our 5 days of outreach and had 171 profess faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior. Many, many praises...and many, many prayers for continued growth in these new believers, that God would raise up leaders in Ganvie to forge the path of Truth to take root, community to form, churches to grow, and a harvest to come that will continue to bear fruit for generations to come. 

And, for the Lord to guide what Westside's engagement is to be in the future. It seems like part of my reflection time tends to be in poetic form, especially after trips like this...so, here's my latest: 

Grace on Missionby Natalie Coers 

Thousands of miles away from home, 

Yet Your peace covers me in this place.

Here, may Your Name be known, 

May I reflect Your love and grace.

Lord, they long for peace to fill their lives,

For prayers to bless and keep them well.

Without You, they blindly toil and strive,

But with Your grace, Your love compels.  

It compels to share each Truth-filled story,

To walk humbly and care deeply for those in my path.

Commanded to disciple and multiply for Your glory, 

Lord, bring the nations to our knees, spare us Your wrath.

In moments when practical and passion collide, 

Your call is evident each step of the journey.

Though struggles come with this heart divided,

I press on with purpose, to serve, follow and obey.  

And...if you've made it to read this...kudos and thanks for being interested in a couple stories and reflections from my trip! Some of my favorite photos to end out this long post...

Layers of Grace

There's no question that I enjoy travel...the opportunities to see new places and meet new people...priceless experiences. Sometimes, I dread the process of getting to the destination though. Long layovers and hours spent in a confined space are a harsh contrast to the beautiful scenery of the destination itself. Yet, other times I actually quite enjoy the "getting there" for the simple fact that it is an excuse to unplug for even just a few hours to think, read, and write.

This past weekend I made a quick coast to coast trip, traveling to Sacramento to - as one of my drivers put it - do some "recon" work...otherwise known as checking out the 2016 site for our Association of Leadership Educators conference. And, as the semester is coming to a close, I welcomed the "getting there" time for some internal processing and reflection. After flight #1, my 3 hour layover at LAX lent itself to some writing time...the result is below. A friend mentioned that I may need some more travel on my schedule if this comes out of my "getting there" time...I'm just thankful for such opportunities and down time when He stirs my heart to write. I pray these words may bless and encourage you.

Layers of Grace
by Natalie Coers 

I look in the mirror and what do I see?
I see the person I think I should be.

Strong and confident in who I am becoming,
Yet, doubt creeps in to insecurities looming.

With a critical eye, I prod into the depths of my faults;
Then a gentle whisper brings me to a halt.

He whispers with love that dispels my fears;
Speaking truth to my heart, He draws me near.

Those faults I try to cover are beautiful scars to Thee,
Marks of growth as I become who He desires me to be.

Each doubting moment, He layers upon His grace,
Assuring me I only need to follow at His pace.

Lord, take captive my thoughts and renew my mind,
May I walk in wisdom and faith, in You alone my purpose I find.

Moving in the Margins

 “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” - Psalm 29:11

My calendar…I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days. Perhaps because I have failed to have much margin over the past couple of months and stretched myself a bit too thin. Perhaps because I am now having a little margin to reflect on the past couple of months. Whichever way I look at it, I come to one conclusion: I chose (and am choosing) that calendar, those priorities, and the benefits/consequences of them because of the person it is challenging me to become. I do pray that it is a season of such intense “busy,” as I long for that margin to sit, write, listen, and read. But it is a season I wouldn't trade for anything. Here are a couple of the main things I have learned and continue to learn in this season:

•            True friends are rare jewels in life; fierce loyalty is my gift and heartsong to these special people in my life. I am consistently in awe of the people God has brought into my life…how they come alongside to share their gifts and bless my socks off! And so many others who are sweet friends and connections…the way He connects our stories amazes me!  
•            The body of Christ working in unity is a beautiful and powerful entity. On so many levels, this has been observed and demonstrated to me…grateful and blessed are the two words that come to mind. I pray that more people could experience this true reflection of God’s design for the church.  
•          Regardless of level of “busy,” prayer is a necessity. I don’t think I have ever leaned in to my Savior more than in these past couple of months. In the midst of little details, He has given me strength to keep going and such a “big picture” peace about His calling for my life and excitement to move forward toward a dissertation that connects the passions He has put on my heart. He continues to grow me through realizing that prayer first is a lifetime of intentional choice.

Getting to “unhurried” is a process…in the meantime, I’m choosing to be intentional and loyal to the values I desire to uphold...taking little steps to get to the big idea. It’s a process that includes the stretching of my tend-to-be Type A self to be still and open to not just what I have planned, but how God may work. It’s one I’m learning to be ok with...because His plan is always better.

Lord, guide my decisions for how I spend my time. Grant me strength to carry out the tasks you set before me with excellence. May I be a light for you to those you place in my sphere of influence. And, may I honor You in prayer and time in Your Word. Amen 

Moving in the Margins
A ripe harvest awaits in places unreached;
But the workers are few to take the Gospel and preach.

You stir in us the desire to go;
Yet to where and when we may not know.

Actions so tangible with gifts You’ve provided;
But to simply do would be misguided.

You must slow us down and show us Your way;
No schedule can dictate the answers for which we pray.

Deeper You draw us to listen and be still;
To obey, to follow Your leading, Your will.

May I reach out in Your peace and grace,
to engage in the messy as You move through the margins of my pace.

Lord, transform my heart to be sent for You;
Each day living Your Commission, keep me in pursuit. 

GCF 2014 Jingle Bells

Photo credit: The fabulous Bill Thompson

I missed out on my rhyme time last year from being out of the country for work for the last half of GCF...so, bringing it back for 2014! :) So thankful and privileged to do ministry with such an amazing group of people (Orchestra, Choir, Media Team, and Tech/Backstage crew, Decorating crew, Pastors & Staff) at Westside Baptist Church that combine to make Gainesville Christmas Festival a reality! For 2014, we saw nearly 7,200 people over 10 shows...coming from 17 states and 7 countries; we celebrate God working through the show's message centered on Christ to bring 19 people to a personal relationship with Him and 88 people rededicate their lives to Him! We put hours of love and sweat in for His Glory, and He blesses those efforts in abundance! Enjoy, fellow GCF-ers...I hope it brings a smile to your faces! Go ahead...sing along (because you can't just read it...)!   

GCF 2014 Jingle Bells
Dashing through the year,
Toward GCF show time
As the days grew near
We sounded so sublime.
With songs of joy to share,
Our dance moves all in step.
We covered all in glitter and prayer,
Through hours of toiled prep.
Oh, GCF, GCF, GCF is here!
Oh what fun it is to share
Christ’s love for all to hear! Yeah!
GCF, GCF, GCF is here!
Oh what fun it is to share
Christ’s love for all to hear!

With drummers flying high,
And sparkles glimmering,
Act one quickly went by
With voices worshipping
There was that wise men bit,
Then dancers filled the stage
Singers shared their Christmas spirit
Act two the crowd engaged.
Oh, GCF, GCF, GCF is on!
Backstage and tech crews rock,
They keep us from alarm! Yes!
GCF, GCF, GCF is on!
Oh what fun it is to serve
our crowds with Southern charm.

Then Gabriel came down,
with a fully sewn on cloak.
Mary gave birth in town,
A Savior for all folks.
Then kings came from afar
Silk pajamas they wore
The animals lead toward the star
Camels, elephant and more.
Oh, GCF, GCF, GCF goes on!
Miracles performed each night,
And a Pharisee in the pit! Yikes!
GCF, GCF, GCF goes on!
From birth to resurrection,
The whole story we do fit.

Oh, GCF, GCF, GCF is done!
Another blessed year in the books,
Now, let’s all get some sleep! 

Defining Moments

As I was cleaning up my desktop (read procrastinating slightly for the study session ahead), I found this writing and realized I had not posted it before now. I just love how God brings things into our path to remind us of how He has worked in our lives, and will continue to be faithful through all of life's defining moments.

Defining Moments

Markers of trials, pain and suffering endured;

You held me up and carried me through with Your reassuring voice.

Markers of great joy, decisions and changes with new adventures;

Steps of faith into Your calling, for such moments we rejoice.

In those valleys, Lord, we’re on our knees;

Living by Your strength, trusting Your best is yet to come.

On those highest peaks, Lord, we shout Your praise;

Preparing for the next challenge we’ll succumb.

Such moments in our lives are never one sole marker in time;

We are defined by the sum of little moments we choose to obey.

Often a journey leading up to and one that continues long after;

Lord, I lean into You as You show me Your way.

Each moment of our lives is defined with care by our Creator;

To grow and to challenge us, as more into the unknown of His will we heed.

He is working it all for His glory, some day we’ll understand;

Father, let these moments be defined by courage to follow Your lead.

Faith in Transition

Life's a bit crazy at the moment, but I'm excited about what God is teaching me and showing me in this season. I'll fill y'all in on the back story in the near future, but for the time being here is my latest writing...

Faith in Transition

Serving with love where You’ve blessed me with people to influence;

Safe and secure, to leave does not make sense.

But, Lord, You’re changing the desires of my heart;

I know it’s a process, so show me the right time to start.

Affirm to me this is Your prompting, Your direction;

I’m giving You control, slowly relinquishing all of these questions.

Lord, give me strength to respond, to help others understand;

Give me courage to follow as You orchestrate Your plan.

With each step I learn, with each step of faith I am growing;

My identity reflecting more of You, through each challenge transforming.

Doubts will come of what could be, fears and distractions from plans undone;

No regrets, Lord, focus me – You have already overcome!

To trust and obey, I’m on my knees and in Your Word;

Lord, lead me with Your counsel to faithfully push forward.

With confident hope, I will patiently pursue Your call;

Guide me and protect me, I’m in it with my all.

A Blessed Identity

A Blessed Identity

Who am I, Lord, 

That I am cast in Your image? 

I, who am blessed with the attention of my King & Creator.

I, who am freed from binding chains & secure in Your love. 

I, who am uniquely created & gifted for Your service.

Yet, the depths of Your desired blessing await my unwavering trust in You. 

But, who am I, Lord, 

That I may be worthy to receive such blessing? 

I, who am broken & prideful.

I, who squander Your gifts in selfishness.

I, who forget You are near & ignore Your steadfast pursuit.

Yet, You sent Your Son to cover my faults & failures in grace. 

Who are we, Lord, 

That we are welcome in Your Presence to worship? 

We, who bind together as sinners redeemed by Your blood. 

We, who desire to serve You through our gifts & ministries.

We, who see clearly Your hand guiding our legacy & vision.

Yet still, You long for more of us to show abundantly more of You, that we may bring the hope of Christ to all people.

Find us faithful, Lord, to reflect You to others; to grow in likeness to Your blessed identity, in awe of Your sacrifice, and in gratitude for a community transforming each other with Your love. 

Work Zone

It never fails to amaze me that in the midst of my crazy busy schedule, God chooses to continue working on me, working me through this 'one thing' to dig deep and finally come to peace with it. The process has been incredibly freeing, a weight lifted in the form of a mask I felt like I was wearing by not being vulnerable with this issue. Yet, it is also a bit overwhelming at times in the midst of everything else on my plate; realizing that intentionality and mindfulness of keeping God's Word as the authority on this issue will be a lifetime journey also helps bring His peace to the process and open for growth. The past couple of weeks, God has put some words on my heart at different times; they came together to express just where He knows I need to continue seeking after Him. Humbled that He continues to give this interesting poetic gift on occasion; it's as though He gave me my very own Psalm to cling to as He works me through it. So, here's the latest result of poetic processing; I pray that in some small way it may relate to others and reflects His love for each of us, whatever our 'one thing' is: 

A Heart Surrendered

Lord, for so long I’ve held back, held on to this one thing;

Now to Your altar I come, all of me to You I bring.

Let these chains fall down, let them fall to the ground;
In the release of control, there is freedom to be found.

Forgive me and mold me, lead me on Your path set apart;
Undivided and surrendered, You have captured my heart.

Steps of faith, steps of courage, each a step You call me to obey;
Through both challenges and routine, make me more like You each day.

Open my eyes, open my heart to see beyond the rational;
To seek, to experience, to follow that which only with You is possible. 

Side note: I also absolutely love that, even though my original plan for coursework did not happen this semester, He had it all under control from the beginning. Now, I am in two classes that are helping me make changes needed, when I was attempting to keep personal and school work separate. And, what a sweet realization (and curiosity about what He's preparing me for...) that He works all things out perfectly...

A Work in Progress

The very first day I opened my new devotional (Made to Crave), I was hit with two words: unsettle me. These two simple words have, over the past 32 days conjured up many thoughts and questions. A few moments of pondering have been on 'What am I settling for?', 'How am I settled into my life?', and 'How would my life be different if I were less settled and more trusting in my Savior?'.  When a thought would come, I would end up making a mental note and jotting it down later on a sticky note, random scrap of paper, or on the bulletin. This past week, I sat down one night to try to put those thoughts together. What I came to was that this will have to be a poem in progress. Each time I come back to thinking about these two little words, God teaches me something different, something new. It is typically something little, but is that not how He works at times...little realizations that compound over time to see how He orchestrates our life? OK, enough of my ramblings...here is my poem, a work in progress, written with a curious heart as to what He will teach me next through these simple, yet powerful words:

Unsettle Me

by Natalie Coers

Settled in my routine of day to day living;
My heart can grow distant, yet grace You keep giving.

Unsettle me from this quiet life as You lead me to be bold;
Following in obedience for Your story to be told.

Unsettle me from my comfortable, yet distracting expectations;
Lord, to see the faithful, abundant life You have called us to for generations.  

Unsettle me from thinking I have it all together with a plan;
Help me trust in Your way, even when I don’t understand.

Unsettle me from behind these walls, a veil from Satan’s ploy;
To not just live for You, but in You with my all and filled with joy.

Unsettle me from this protective shell;
Enable me to be courageous and real, just as Your Word compels.

Unsettle me from this judgmental place;
Give me Your eyes to see with love and grace.

Overwhelmed by a world that needs Your everlasting love;
Unsettle me, Lord; bring me into my purpose from above. 

I'm sure as I continue this journey new chapters of life will bring different aspects and opportunities to settle. Thus, this is a work in progress, just as I am...constantly being taught and molded to be more like my Savior. So many times I choose to settle...it's comfortable after all; but, these two little words will forever bring me a piece of humble pie and remind me of His desire to draw me closer and closer to Him.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

Focus on the Cross

<sup>"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:5

As I sit here on my couch looking out on a clear and sunshine-filled, beautiful start to this Good Friday, I am thankful for some unlimited time in the Word to reflect on the significance of this day. I know that as much as I attempt to wrap my mind around Christ's crucifixion each year at this time, it is a feeble attempt at understanding such sacrifice. There is such a depth of love expressed through the cross; Christ chose to obey, to fulfill the scriptures (Matthew 26:53-54) despite being mocked as "King of the Jews" with a robe and crown of thorns (Mark 15:16-20). Grasping even just a small portion of the magnitude of His sacrifice and endurance of pain for me is both humbling and overwhelming. I try to imagine what it would have been like to be there at the crucifixion, yet I don't think it is possible for the mere fact that I see the sacrifice and know what is to come. We can call this day "Good" Friday because we know and celebrate his resurrection; can you imagine the pain of watching the crucifixion without knowing of the resurrection to come? I think it takes that intentional thought, focused solely on the crucifixion itself to get the full impact of what Good Friday and the cross truly represent.

 This year, the cross has taken on new meaning for me. I had the opportunity to go on my first international mission trip in May to Romania, and although many experiences from that trip have impacted me, one continues to be at the top of my memories. It was our Sunday morning church service in a small, Romanian Baptist church that I think was a little glimpse into heaven. It was an amazing time of worship, singing hymns and listening to six or seven different languages lifting up praise at once. The message brought that morning was focused on the cross, looking at the sacrifice of Christ, as well as His command to take up our cross and follow him (Luke 9:23-27). The key challenge of this message was, 'What does your cross look like?' He went through several ways that we, as Christians in a worldly society, show our cross, our faith to those around us. Talk about a convicting message; in reflecting back on that trip, I sometimes think that God's purpose for me going on that trip was not just to serve, but to hear that message. A little over a month ago, I finally took all of those thoughts from that particular message and turned them into a poem entitled 'A Cross for the Nations'. (Here's your 'learn something new about me' for the day. As an internal processor, poetry has been a fun way to capture some trips and experiences for me since high school; however, in the past couple of years, God has put a few on my heart as I have processed  things He has been teaching me and what I am to be striving toward.) So, to close out this Good Friday post, here is my poem, and I hope you have a reflective day followed by a wonderful celebration of Christ's resurrection this Easter Sunday!</sup> 

A Cross for the Nations

by Natalie Coers 

Take up your cross and follow me;
A command to deny thyself if a reflection of Christ is to be.

But in a world where perception brings identity
Who is this Christian that they see?

Do they see my cross adorned with jewels of good deeds?
Or, do they see my weary, sinner’s heart in need?

Do they see my cross built with perfect precision and care?
Or, do they see the lessons learned through trials and in prayer?

Do they see my cross covered in blessings from a life so grand?
Or, do they see my scars mended with forgiveness in the Maker’s hands?

The cross we each carry reflects our journey in life;
It can be filled with both blessings and strife.

Yet, the cross of Christ was once a symbol feared;
Now an expression of faith, it is one revered.

The rugged cross is weathered and worn;
Its wood grains tell of the burdens He bore.

Nails pierced my Savior upon it Crucifixion Day;
His pure and holy sacrifice, there was no other way.

Praises, oh, He rose again, the cross now closes the divide;
So, take up your cross and trust Him as your guide.

Don’t try to cover, to perfect, or to adorn your cross;
Just let it be real, a reflection of Christ for all you gained in loss.

Each of our stories serves as a connection, a means to teach;
Go! Be bold! Take His story to the nations unreached!